Are most of these from that one guy who had you type up things and edit them for him?

Just the first and the third.

Hee. I'm glad you didn't get blown up.

people are strange... how do they know your thyroid gland is enlarged again? that one confuses me.

I told him I was surprised he could tell, but that I had indeed had thyroid problems in the past. He said no one would ever be able to tell except for him, and he was glad to know that I was already aware of the issue.

Wait . . . is it a threat if I call you pretty and I'm not old? Is the threatening nature of calling you ugly also age-dependent?

Not that I plan on calling you ugly. Or referring to your looks very much at all. But it's good to clarify these things, for future reference.

That reminds me. Do you have any books about librarians?

Jeremy, I don't know if you're serious, but my favorite librarian book is probably The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. Most librarian books I've read rely heavily on the sshhing-spinster-with-a-bun stereotype, and you know I can't support that.