I would like to thank you for correcting all my spelling and grammer errors from the orginal conversation. That way I dont look like a fool.

You'll have no problems in bed. Not with the new ACME Garment bustier. Guaranteed to cover your garments in a classy style with a touch of whorish splendor. Oh. I may have crossed a line. Sorry Sarah.

Ha. You didn't mention my Grandma, so you're safe. Oh and Marci, shh! I fixed mine too!

She actually...wore a teddy...over garments?

This is totally strange to me. How could your grandma even be aware of lingerie? I'm CERTAIN that the concept of sex-as-fun was discovered by my generation. Preceding generations only used sex for procreation. And my parents, in particular, never had sex. I simply sprang into existence one day. Like Jesus.

Oh, and my kids (if I ever have any), will never be curious about sex or aroused in any way. They'll get married for companionship and, like their grandparents, use sex only for procreation. So there will be no need for lingerie. Or awkward discussions. So all the information I'll ever have to tell them is "don't do it until you're married." I'm 100 percent positive this will fully protect them from unwanted pregnancy and STDs.

These are the truisms on which my world is founded. Don't mess with my truisms.

hahahaaaaaaw.