June 01, 2005

Sarah: Tool of the Week

By request of Lisa, and for just TOTALLY DESERVING IT, I am proud to announce that
is the Tool of the Week.

No project to follow. You are forbidden to make your own Carson.

Next week: It's shiny, painless, and leaves funny outlines on your driveway...

June 02, 2005

Sarah: Days Go By and Still I Dream of You...

My dreams have been boring, but these two tales from my friends J and M will delight you!

J: I had a dream that I was having Brad Pitt's baby and when it was born he got mad because it looked more like me than him...
Me: That's way funny. You should tell your boyfriend.
J: I don't think he'd be too happy if he knew I was having Brad Pitt's child.

M: You were in my dream last night!
Me: What did you dream?
M: You, me, Marci, Jessie, and Lisa were playing midnight tag in a place that was supposedly Smith's Marketplace. There was some creepy guy that was following us around, and I tried to tell you guys. But I was it. And you all ran away.

Lisa: Crunk

This t-shirt made me laugh, but I thought I'd better find out exactly what it means before endorsing it wholeheartedly.


1. To have a good time. Long as everybody get crunk in the drop -- Lil Bow Wow (Bounce with me [2000]). (Rap Dictionary)

2. To get crazy drunk. Originally, this term comes from the words crazy and funk. As opposed to popular opinion, crunk has had no relation to being coked up and drunk until recently. Because if its similarity of terminal sound with the word drunk many rappers have used it in reference with being crazy and under the influence. This and the intrinsical association with hard partying has brought about its association with alcohol. (Rap Dictionary)

3. A specific type of hip hop music, based out of the southern United States. The sound itself is a mix of repetitive chants and drum machine rhythms. Lil' Jon & the East Side Boyz often claim to be the "Kings of Crunk." Lil' Scrappy is referred to as the "Prince of Crunk" whereas Ciara has been referred to as the "Princess of Crunk" and Chyna White is sometimes known as the "Queen of Crunk." While these artists have embodied the term crunk in the hip-hop industry, the term was more widely exposed to the non hip-hop community during a broadcast of the hit Fox show "American Idol", when a particular contestant repeatedly used variations of the phrase "Get crunk!" during his audition. Also, beware the profane version which starts with a K. (Wikipedia)

4. To cry like a crane. [Obs.] "The crane crunketh.'' --Withals (1608). (Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary)

Sarah: Queen of Everything

Coming to you, straight from her frequent stops at the restroom, is the new reigning champion of the most soda consumed at the restaurant nearest her house. That's right, folks. Sarah drank her way through ten Diet Cokes to usurp the previous record of a measly nine sodas and get a free meal. She may have used the restroom more than seven times that night, but her feeling of pride far outweighed the racing heartbeat and shaking hands.

Okay, I might be crazy. But I feel much better now...

June 08, 2005

Sarah: Tool of the Week

Before I announce this week's tool, I'd just like to bring to our readers' attention that this feature has now existed for three weeks. That is longer than most of my relationships. Its longevity surprises even myself.

This week's tool of the week is...


for painting frames, clips, and other accessories for your home. Yes, your stuff will look painted, not like they're actually silver or anything, but they will look better than the plywood or colored plastic that they once were. Also, having many items the same color will make them a more effective grouping. I had a bunch of picture frames that were all different colors, but once several of the cheap ones (wood and plastic, mostly gifts from high school... picture frames were somethng I never spent much money on) were painted silver, I could have a surface that was all pictures and looked very put together. Also, I painted several clothespins (that I already owned) silver and put up fishing line on a wall so that I could use the clothespins to pin up horizontal rows of small photos. I liked this look better than my old tactic of taping photos directly to the wall, but didn't have to pay anything! Having the silver frames/picture holders makes my room feel more consistent without involving any significant purchases.

June 13, 2005

Sarah: Absence makes the heart grow fonder... or forgetful*

Lisa and Blake left on Friday for Europe. They're gone until the 24th, and I'm sure Lisa will post many pictures upon her return. It's unknown, however, if she'll be able to post while abroad. It's a shame to waste sight-seeing time in an internet cafe, and yet every addiction must be fed. I am hoping she arrived in the UK safely and is so far enjoying her time. I miss my friend, my errand buddy, my playmate, my sister (and her husband, obviously). But I know she'll be home soon, and that she's probably having a blast. When she does return, she better let me buy her dinner and then watch some guilty pleasure with her (possibly New York Minute?) so that we can enjoy each other's company. Today I noticed how pronounced her presence is missed on this website, behind the scenes, zapping spammers. I'm on my own. It's a frightening thought. I'll try to post often enough to keep this site interesting. If you have any special requests, let me know!

* This Robin Hood reference brought to you not only because I miss my sister, but because it was Lisa's favorite childhood movie. I never understood why, however, because in my opinion it didn't have NEARLY enough princess action.

June 14, 2005

Sarah: When you've reached the bottom it's now or never

Last night a conversation about boy bands and computer viruses* led to the most incredible revelation. My friend's computer was infected with a virus that renamed all of her MP3s "All or Nothing" by O Town. That's right, the worst song ever. Every single song on her computer. Could you think of a cooler virus?

* Yeah, I know they're the coolest friends ever. What can I say? But seriously, money can't buy conversations like that.

June 17, 2005

Sarah: Tool of the Week

This week is a tribute to my mom, who is the clothing salesperson of the year. She rocks, and she was fun to watch a movie with while she used a...


Mom quickly got wrinkles out of countless skirts without any iron, spray, or intense labor. Plus, she's cute, and acted like she enjoyed the Tool of the Week feature. And I didn't even know she read our site!

June 21, 2005

Sarah: Tool of the Week

When you realize that you've only mopped your tile floors once in the two months you've been living in an apartment, it's a sign that you need a...


to keep your floors looking nice. Just believe the instructions when they tell you to sweep first. Because your floors? Are dirty.

June 22, 2005

Sarah: Happy Father's Day, Indeed

My dad is generally reserved and soft-spoken. He avoids scandal, and never speaks of anything that could possibly make someone uncomfortable. He usually leaves the dirty jokes to my mom (I mean that in a good way... she's hilarious.), but not on Father's Day. As is the tradition with any gift-giving holiday, following dinner, we give gifts during dessert. So in preparation for this activity, my mother turned to me and said "Sarah, go downstairs and get the tart" after which my dad said "This is going to be a GREAT Father's Day."

I guess the confusion was whether I was assigned to fetch the dessert or the gift.

June 27, 2005

Lisa: Bones

Thank you, Mallory, for bringing this to my attention. I'm not sure how I feel about the show's premise, but anything that gets D-Bo back on my TV is good.

Here's another photo.

And a video clip.

June 29, 2005

Sarah: Tool of the Week

I think my close friends saw this one coming. Every hour that I can spare has been spent with my new and fabulous


which is a simple way to create unique and fun gifts or accessories. I made at least ten last night, and am now filling a bowl with buttons. I suppose I will wear the ones I choose, and give others away as gift toppers (Blake and Lisa received a Kiefer Sutherland button upon their return from Europe) or party favors or just small surprises. Lisa and I have wanted a button press for ages, and NOW WE HAVE ONE! Perhaps at some point we could consider selling them. We shall see.

Sarah: Update: Validation

Today was a proud day. It was the day that I became a Housemate on the message boards of the site I once spoke of. I am no longer the victim of shame, humiliation, and occasional site attendance.