July 25, 2003

Sarah: posty mcbloggson

Because of my lack of an internet connection at home, I frequent neighboring public libraries to check my email and google around. At each of these libraries, small whiteboards with the time you began using the computers keep you from exceeding your half hour time limit. (A half hour is simply not long enough to satisfy my internet cravings. Sometimes I have to library hop to pacify my addiction.)

One of these libraries that I usually don't patronize (I try not to talk down to libraries in general. ha... ha... Okay, not funny.) has a more strict policy. Instead of writing down your own time, a certain employee has apparently been hired exclusively for the purpose of sitting at a desk and writing down the time when you come in to use the computers. Because you never know when someone is going to commit the devastating act of falsifying a start time! This employee cracked me up for other reasons, besides his apparent disposibility (is that a word?). [I can't even begin to understand what you meant by that, so, no, I don't think it's a word. -- Lisa] He comes around and tells patrons when they only have a minute left. Because, you know, that little whiteboard is a ticking time bomb and every minute over a half hour will upset the balance of the universe.

Also, he wears a fannypack. Always. So that he can keep his essential belongings with him at all times. Because sometimes his desk is just too far away. I wonder what he keeps in this fannypack. A first aid kit? A dry erase marker for false time correction? Nasal spray? I'm thinking of developing a librarian fannypack, with all the librarian essentials. I could give it to Lisa as a graduation present. [Hey, that's a good idea. I would pay good money for a bumbag full of librarian essentials. You know, like black lipstick, fingerless black net gloves, a roach clip, and giant safety pins! -- Lisa] Not that I think all librarians are tragically uncool. Some are great, especially my sister! This guy just looks as if an incorrect calculation of your computer use time would make him swoon.

Update: Today he was wearing the fanny pack, but one of his pockets was still bulging with stuff. Like, the fanny pack doesn't have a great enough capacity? The time that I must relinquish use of the computer is 5:19. Not that I care, but why not just put down 5:20? It's not as if a mutiny would begin if other library patrons learned that I had exceeded the time limit by one minute. Library Guy also came by one of the computers to adjust a white board that had been placed in its slot on its side. Oh, the horror! I don't know why I pay so much attention. In the grand scheme of things, his actions have little or no effect on me whatsoever. But if people didn't let little things like this distract them from what really matters, we'd have hardly any blogs at all.

Posted by lisa at July 25, 2003 09:21 AM

"Disposability" - easily disposed of; not essential. See also "Library Guy"

Posted by: Sarah's dictionary of little known/nonexistent terms on July 25, 2003 05:32 PM

so there's a guy who always wears a fanny pack when he comes to my film class, and he also pulls one of those suitcases with the wheels and extendable handle. he always sits on the front row and asks questions like, "how come the ninja turtles have names of famous artists?" and he's the only one who talks or answers questions in the class, so i think my professor is probably overwhelmed with doubt about his self-worth, like "i dedicate my life to imparting my hard-earned experience to these people, but it falls on ignorant ears!" No, mr. film professor, someone is listening!

Posted by: dave on July 26, 2003 10:27 AM

wow, sarah, you've been watching labyrinth forever. i mean, i know it's a huge, multilayered masterpiece of....well, something, but i think too much david bowie could be harmful to your health.

luv, dave

Posted by: dave on July 28, 2003 10:31 AM

I think I met the fanny pack library guy! Does he talk really slowly and deliberately? If so, he's a volunteer at the Main library now. I met him at the orientation I went to for my internship. Also, he is NOT a librarian.

Posted by: lisa on January 20, 2004 10:21 AM
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