October 02, 2006
Sarah: Single
It is time to reinstate Lisa's plan for finding me some great guys. And, go.
I am adding to this project after Mallory's comment. The new project: to find dates for myself, Mallory, and Marci. All available, all fun. I realize I've tripled your work load, but really. You can handle it.
Lisa: scared straight
It is no secret (and nothing to apologize for) that Mormon culture values abstinence before marriage. Teachers working with young people in the church have been known to resort to all kinds of object lessons (such as The Clean White Handkerchief) and mantras (like Choose the Right) to reinforce the importance of this principle. Back in the day, I wore a CTR ring and even had a card tacked up near my bed that read "Don't trade what you want most for what you want at the moment." I have no problem with any of this. Unfortunately, those well-intentioned teachers sometimes went a bit too far. Those who know me may have guessed that I am talking about the lesson of The Tainted Muffin, which goes something like this:
At the beginning of class, the teacher holds up a giant, delicious-looking muffin. I don't know why it has to be a muffin. I can't imagine that the teachers, with their pure minds, chose it for any specific reason. ANYWAY, the teacher asks if anyone would like to eat the muffin, and of course everyone raises her hand. The teacher then starts passing the muffin around the class. Each girl is instructed to touch, poke, lick, spit, step on, or otherwise violate the muffin. Once the muffin has made its way back to the teacher, she holds it up again, and again asks if anyone would like to eat the muffin. Predictably, no one wants the disgusting thing now. Then the teacher goes on to painstakingly explain how no one will want us if we allow our "muffins" to become...ahem...tainted. Let me clarify for those Young Women leaders out there who may have found me by mistake: THIS IS A HORRIBLE OBJECT LESSON. Where does repentance fit in? Forgiveness? Our intrinsic self-worth? I am afraid that this lesson contains more than just a little bit of dog poo. I only wish that I had known about the Twenty Dollar Bill at the time, so I could have beaten these teachers at their own game. Instead I picked up a few more unhealthy thought patterns. But hey--I guess it worked! At least THIS virgin bride wasn't stuck handing her husband a bare stem on the wedding night! (Thanks, mimi. It's not a sore spot or anything.)
October 03, 2006
Sarah: I'm just glad she didn't say anything about my best friend Britney.
Mallory has opinions on music. It is, after all, her life.
Mallory: I hate The Killers. The Killers should try and kill the B-52's and there should be a huge explosion and lots of death.
Sarah: ...
M: .. hi.
We talk about MySpace, boys, and the lack thereof.
M: When The Killers kill the B-52's, Angels from Angels and Airwaves should be their guardian angels, and die too.
S: HA!
We talk about the campaign Mallory is working on. We also talk about school.
M: Ugh. The Killers should fight the B-52's in the Sound Garden. And they should be fighting over a Chemical Romance. With the guardian Angels in Airwaves nearby.
S: I love you so much.
More time passes.
M: I dunno how, but Depeche Mode should somehow be killed by The Killers too.
October 08, 2006
Sarah: Best MySpace Message Ever
There are times when prose seems almost too elegant, too romantic, too beautiful to be written by the human hand.
Date: Oct 8 2006 5:37 AM
Subject: lovly
Body: you know God created the leaning tower, the great wall of china, the Payramids, Taj Mahal, The Babil Gardens, Evel Tower, and he created you.
when God love some one, the he creat those ones to be a sign of his power of peace and love. I just love to kiss you right now.
Mo
This is not one of those times. Mo, I wouldn't bet on that whole kissing thing.
October 10, 2006
Lisa: roll me in designer sheets, I'll never get enough
I heartily endorse Sarah's addition of Not Martha to her favorite sites. I stopped reading when Megan hit a bit of a dry spell, and I am so glad to find out she started blogging regularly again and is (to my view) better than ever! Here are some of her links from the past few months that I have been enjoying:
October 11, 2006
Sarah: Good Things This Week
Sarah: Dear Bambi, How are you?
An open plot near my work is being developed. Construction workers are next door on a daily basis, working on a structure that promises to be bigger and better than the current corner gas station. Unfortunately, these construction workers perpetuate a negative stereotype. They leer at girls as they pass, display their coin slots above the beltline of their dingy jeans, and have even called out comments to passing young ladies with the apparent intention of flattery. To further disgrace the countless hardworking, classy workers in their profession, these builders have spraypainted the asphalt adjacent to their work site.
Let me just get one thing out of the way: the phrase "X-crossing" is redundant. X-ing is short for crossing. Crossing is long for crossing. X-crossing doesn't. Even. Make. Sense.
And I'm not sure that "dear" was the word they meant to use.
October 12, 2006
Lisa: La Coquette
Elyse, I am sorry that you never blog anymore. Truly sorry. But you have forced me to transfer my love to another expatriate in the fashion industry: La Coquette. Not only does she have amazing taste and alluringly frenchy anecdotes, but it seems we are kindred spirits as well. To wit:
It's in those mid-nightiest, I-bet-I-get-hit-by-a-bus moments that I start to think about all the ways my life could be better. I could use a little Topher Grace, for starters. I bet you're thinking we all could all use a little Topher Grace, but have you ever stopped for a moment at 3 am to think why? Have YOU ever thought about how his humor and boyish charm belie his emotional depth at 3 am in the morning? I'm just saying I could probably use a little Topher Grace more than you could, that's all.
Thank you, Andrea, for the recommendation! Plus (as Andrea pointed out), Elisabeth looks a lot like Marci, so I am predisposed to a bit of a girl-crush.
October 13, 2006
October 14, 2006
Lisa: When she was good, she was very, very good
Yesterday I got a real haircut and it was AWESOME. Ann Marie at Sacred Roots was recommended as someone who specializes in curly hair, and for good reason. She first looked at my hair when it was dry, paying attention to my hair texture, type of curl, and which areas were more or less curly than others. She cut the general shape of the desired style while my hair was dry. [For those of you who don't have curly hair, this is important because sections of hair with different amounts of curl can be cut to the same length when wet (and straight), but bounce up to different lengths when the hair is dry.] Then she shampooed me (complete with head and neck massage!) and neatened up the cut on my wet hair. Then she dried my hair with a diffuser, all the while giving me tips on styling and products. Ann Marie had read the books and websites I had read, and was familiar with the anti-shampoo philosophy--but encouraged me to do whatever worked for me. She is even going to a workshop in New York with Lorraine Massey next month. Plus, Ann Marie was super nice and the right amount of chatty and kept telling me how great my hair was. It was like a beautiful dream.
As an added bonus, afterward I got to put on a fancy dress and eat fondue at The Melting Pot for Molly's birthday. It totally made up for the four hours I spent cleaning on Friday morning (yay, me!). The question now is what should I do tonight when Blake is out with the guys? Block the sweater I finally finished knitting? Paint the sewing room?
Edited to add this picture of my haircut, taken the day after I posted this entry:
October 17, 2006
Sarah: "Life Doesn't Hold Tryouts."
Despite our embarrassingly well documented love for bad movies, I can't help but express why last night was so very awesome. Mallory and I sat on my couch for a couple hours, playing on the internet and watching Center Stage. This movie was cheesier than either of us remembered, but I still loved it. Or rather, I did when I wasn't yelling at the tv screen "HE WAS NEVER. YOUR BOYFRIEND. HE USED YOU." and "EAT THE PIZZA, ANOREXIC GIRL" and similar. Why do I love this movie? I'm so glad you asked. Although other dancing movies feature one or two of several character types, Center Stage includes all of them. It is the movie that embraces all cliches equally. And that? Is my kind of movie. Behold, the characters:
I'm sure there are more examples, but you get the idea. This movie is all kinds of shameful awesome.
October 18, 2006
Sarah: Haiku for Internet Shame
MySpace is evil.
That's what they say, but I can't
Stop spending time there.
Sarah: Haiku for my Desk at Work
Book, mustard, stamps, pins.
I need to clean off my desk.
Really. Because, ew.
October 19, 2006
Lisa: there is beauty all around
Some days, the little things feel extra special.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is what is called nerdy hot. Do not underestimate the power of the nerdy hotness. Do you see those garters? The miniskirt? Who can say that knitting is just for grandmas now?
Edited to add a link to this adorable knitting animation, found via Heather. For those of you at work, it can be watched without sound .
Lisa: Tool(s) of the Week
I don't find infomercials to be a particularly pleasant or effective marketing technique, but I must admit that there are some good as-seen-on-TV products out there. Especially...
and
It's hard for me to admit, but Jessica Simpson and Diddy sold me on Proactiv. That ridiculousness aside, now that I've tried it, I don't think I'll ever go back to another skincare regimen. My skin is softer and clearer and more glowy than it ever has been, and new boxes magically appear on my doorstep when I need a refill. The only downside is that my purple towels now have giant pink bleached spots from the benzoyl peroxide--but it was time for new towels anyway, and I was already planning to replace them with white. Problem solved!
It's only been a few weeks since Marci introduced me to Turbo Jam, but so far I am loving it. The routines are relatively easy to pick up, go by quickly, and leave me completely sweaty (which I figure has to be good). I can't wait for my "ripped, rock-hard abs."
Sarah: Betty Crocker, Rescue Me
My grandma worked for many years as a Home Economics teacher, instructing countless cooking classes. My mom won the title as her school's Betty Crocker Homemaker of Tomorrow. The domesticity gene runs in the family, but apparently took a detour around me. I offer as proof my latest kitchen endeavor.
Using a recipe from this book, I attempted to make pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese icing for our girls night. Sounds delicious, right?
Wrong. Apparently baking cupcakes from scratch is harder than it looks. Cream cheese frosting, however, is simple and delicious.
The cupcake saga: I doubled the recipe and measured ingredients exactly. I preheated the oven, set the timer, and did everything right. Here is my first batch:
Complete disaster. They were so large that they flowed into each other, then they deflated and made sad little concave puddles of moist cupcake. I decided that the problem was I had overfilled the tins, and perhaps I opened the oven one too many times. I prepared the second batch, leaving more room at the top of each cup. I set the timer and left the oven completely alone.
These were actually a little bit better. Although just as sunken, there was not as much lateral cupcake expansion, and the bottom of the cupcake was actually quite tasty. Still, these monstrosities were too hideous to give away.
After two bad batches, I was filled with sadness and a little bit of self-loathing. How hard could cupcakes be? Too hard for a Wednesday night, apparently.
The frosting, which I made while Cupcake Batch #2 was baking, had much better results.
See? Tasty. So... want some frosting? Here's a spoon.
October 20, 2006
Lisa: ouch.
Something is very wrong with my neck.
I think I slept on it funny, and then I turned my head in a weird way while I was leaning over putting my shoes on this morning, and something went "ping." In my neck. Now whenever I move my head there is a sharp pain at the base of my skull and sort of a pulling feeling down the left side of the back of my neck. I keep sort of pushing on the area of greatest discomfort, but I don't think it's helping.
Suggestions?
October 21, 2006
Lisa: not a bad day
After I got yelled at by an old man in the Harmons parking lot (the note he left under my wiper: "the fact that you didn't see even see me tells me that you need to WAKE UP") and then accidentally honked at a cop, I needed a pick-me-up. Mallory and Marci came through.
One of Mallory's favorite things to do is go to the Friday-night Gallery Stroll, and I'm always glad when she convinces us to go. This week we started at Finch Lane, since they were showing Shawn Rossiter's 90-foot Tiamat, which circled one whole room of the gallery. I'm a Shawn Rossiter groupie, and I loved Tiamat and the idea behind it, but I am still disturbed that on November 4th it will be cut up and sold for $50 per square foot. I get it, but...it still seems wrong. Besides, someone has already spoken for Adam's groin.
Then we went to the Rio Grande train depot gallery where Simon Blundell, Mallory's mentor, had some photos being shown. The pretty art people in their glamorous clothes were out in force, and so were the sesame seed sugar cookies. Awesome.
Blake joined us for dinner at Paradise Bakery, where I almost had to throw down with a lesbian couple who were insulting my salad, and then we all met Maureen at the theater to watch the brain-meltingly awesome The Prestige. Between that and Little Miss Sunshine, I am regaining hope for American cinema--I think the last time that I enjoyed a movie so much was two years ago.
October 22, 2006
Sarah: Word of the Day
A friend looked at me like I was insane when I described an undomesticated cat. Thus, I defend my vocabulary to her and the internet at large.
not domesticated or cultivated, wild
having escaped from domestication and become wild
As in: After spending time on the island in Cast Away, Tom Hanks became feral until reintroduced to civilization.
October 23, 2006
Sarah: Weekend Wrap-up, Haiku edition
Bad horror movies,
Cabin, shopping, cleaning house,
Anti-internet.
Sarah: Props
After making the unanimous decision among the group that props increased the quality of our girls nights, Mallory, Marci, Lisa, and I enjoyed a flurry of themed items. The cupcakes were supposed to be a Halloween-themed treat (did I mention that I was going to attempt some ambitious chocolate spiderwebs on top of the frosting to make them look more spooky? Because I was, and they were going to be beautiful.), but we all know how those turned out. Fortunately, we have had more successful props.
There are certain things everyone should love. Among those things are vampires and pumpkin pie. Lisa brilliantly united the two with a pumpkin pie ice cream cake with chocolate cake and a frosting vampire. Did I just blow your mind?
What about now? It was delicious, and all of the girls were looking deliciously cute.
Lately we've been in the habit of calling each other our BFFs (Best Friends Forever), and our cake proudly bore a Marci quote: The F is for Forever.
For Nip/Tuck night I brought along Operation (Mal sang the theme song, and it was awesome.)
Lisa won the game. You can tell by her evil grin, and by Marci's sad face.
In other operation news, Rosie O'Donnell was on Nip/Tuck.
She was actually more likable than I thought she would be, and I liked her banter with Christian Troy.
The verdict: We like props!
Lisa: Calling all Brainiacs.
What should I ask Ken Jennings when I interview him for the library newsletter? Should I try to do something humorous (like the Onion's A/V Club) or high-concept (like questions in the form of answers, Jeopardy-style)? I'm afraid I will come across as either too boring or too dumb.
So...what do you want to know?
October 25, 2006
October 26, 2006
Sarah: What was old is new again
The girls went shopping last Saturday, and I emerged relatively fiscally unscathed. I did, however, purchase a shirt/sweatshirt that gave me great joy to wear today.
My short sleeved sweatshirt has puffed sleeves, a zip front, and kangaroo pockets. Nicole and I discussed the clothing item after I divulged that I (somewhat shamefully) purchased it from Hot Topic.
N: The 80s are back. Your shirt has...
S: Puffed sleeves.
N: And little whales. And pink polka dots.
S: I know. I know.
My mom thinks I should be dressing more as an adult, and to some extent I agree. But really, how many years do I have before I'm too old for a shirt with small water creatures printed all over it?
Not enough years.
I know it's a bit strange to not have my face in the photos, but that way I could take them before I put on makeup.
October 27, 2006
Sarah: NaBloPoMo
Today I signed up Two Loose Teeth for National Blog Posting Month. That means that for the entire month of November, Lisa or myself will be posting every day.
Brace yourselves.
October 30, 2006
Lisa: Rack
Last week, Mallory asked me if the expression was "rack your brain" or "wrack your brain," and I was forced to admit that I didn't know.
A ridiculously small amount of research turned up this excellent answer by Joann Hill at Random House. The whole thing is quite interesting if you like that kind of thing (which I do), but here's the relevant paragraph:
The word rack in racking (one's) brain is thus spelled. That is because it derives from the rack, the medieval instrument of torture on which a victim was slowly stretched. (This stems from the familiar rack 'a framework'.) This rack was used as a verb meaning 'to torture on the rack', and hence in the transferred sense 'to torture', and then figuratively 'to stretch or strain', which is the sense in rack (one's) brain.
Fortuitously, 'rack' is also my favorite euphemism for breasts.