Sarah: A Year in Review

In the past year, I have:
1. Gotten within a semester of college graduation.
2. Stood outside the hospital room while my niece was born, then held her on the first day of her life and countless days since.
3. Learned how to use an old hand-printing press.
4. Gained a new sister. An amazing new sister.
5. Traveled through Europe.
6. Bought a new (to me) car.
7. Learned to drive a manual transmission, just about burning through my clutch in the process.
8. Given up the apartment where I lived for almost two years.
9. Lived with my awesome family (Don't worry, guys, I promise that I'm looking for a new place).
10. Become much closer (whether she liked it or not) to a great friend.
11. Baked and cooked. A lot.
12. Cracked jokes with an albino.

It was a great year. One of my favorites yet. Thanks for being there with me.

Sarah: Friends Say the Darndest Things

Mark:
Favorite quote from a coworker today: I'm not really too familiar with the service side, let me go ask someone who is a little more inept. Hold on...

Mallory:
I dreamed that I was making out with a starship captain last night. We were on an escape pod from the Battlestar Galactica. I had to save the President. We saved her. Then he showed me space and it was awesome. Then we made out. For a long time.
Then.
I realized Marci was sitting in the back seat of our space-car the entire time.
Em. Barrassing.

E (stolen from her blog, but she told it to me as well, so I'm hoping she doesn't mind that I spread the awesomeness):
I teach the six-, seven-, and eight-year-old children at my church.
Lesson: Gratitude
E: Adam, you love soccer. A lot. It's pretty cool that your body can play so well. How can you show Heavenly Father that you're thankful for your body?
A: Well... I could get a plate of cookies and put it on the counter. Then I could leave a note: "Dear Santa, Please give these to God."
E (laughs): That's one way, I guess.
A: Except I don't know if God likes milk. So, if God doesn't like milk, I'll leave a glass of 7-Up.

For what it's worth? I'm betting that God likes milk.

Sarah: Monday Afternoon Haiku

Facebook, where are you?
I need to un-tag photos
And play Scrabulous.

Lunch: Went to the mall,
Returned lots of merchandise.
Visa: Zero owed.

Thank you for calling.
He's on a call, may I take
a message? No? K.

Sarah: Uniform

Logowear, nametag, glasses, fannypack (with attached luggage tag!), and cell phone clipped into belt.
This software vendor is ready to work.

Lisa: Friends don't let friends wear men's golf shirts.

You know those golf shirts they ordered for everyone at work? Yours doesn't really fit, does it? Like, it's somehow simultaneously too big AND too small? Maybe because you are not six feet tall and shaped like a sausage? I think I can help.

First things first: find a good show on Tivo, so you don't get bored, and plop the baby in the walker. Hi, cutie!

Double-check your measurements against your trusty dress form (you can even make your own if you don't want to splash out for this invaluable tool).

Okay. Turn your golf shirt inside out and put it back on the dress form. Your shirt probably doesn't have side seams now--we're going to create side seams in order to give it some shape. The process is the same whether it already has side seams or not, really. Just grab the fabric at the side of the shirt, under the arm, and pin it together close to the dress form, keeping the pins marching in a fairly straight line down the side. If there's a place where the shirt is already somewhat snug, like at the hips or whatever, then you only need a tiny pin tuck to keep the illusion of a side seam going. You're going to pin the body of the shirt and then continue the line of pins around the curve at the armpit and along the bottom of the sleeve. Trust me, there's enough room in that sleeve to take out an inch or so.

Unpick the ribbed material from the bottom of the sleeves. Just detatch it from the sleeve--don't unpick the stitching that keeps the cuff in a circle. Set those sad-looking things aside for now.

Time to start sewing! Don't bother cleaning off the table first; this is enough domesticity for one day, don't you think? Anyway, you should stitch along the line of pins you put in earlier, pulling them out as you go. After you do both side seams with a straight stitch, change your machine to a zigzag and add a row of that OUTSIDE the side seams. Trim off the extra fabric right next to the zigzag stitch. If you have a serger, this can all be done in one step (but...you are probably a very competent seamstress and don't need my help).

Let's address those monster sleeves. You can cut at least four inches of fabric off of each of those. This isn't an exact science; eyeball it, then fold over the fabric on top of itself as you go, using the cut-off bit as a guide so that you trim off a straight piece. Throw those pieces away, or make one into a headband a la 1990s Seventeen magazine featurettes.

Once you have the sleeves trimmed down to size, pin the cuff back on. Make sure you think this through before you start sewing! Right sides go together, and the underarm seams go together. If your shirt is still inside out, you will be pinning the cuff inside the sleeve. Then stitch a straight stich and zigzag stitch (like the side seams) right along the rough edge of the ribbing.

If you haven't tried your newly curvy shirt on yet, you might want to do that now to measure where the hem should be. Put the shirt on inside out, and pull the hem up over the shirt until you like the length. Pin it in four or five places so it'll stay in place while you pull the shirt back off.

The bottoms of knit shirts are usually finished with a double row of straight stitching. To copy this look, just sew around the hem twice with a straight stitch, picking a place on the presser foot to measure against for the second time around. When you're sure that you haven't hemmed your shirt too short, trim off the extra fabric.

Voila! Isn't that better? You just lost twenty pounds, visually. Work will be 45% more bearable today!

Lisa: no more nougat

Ants ate my Toblerone. This is the universe telling me that I am too fat to be eating a Toblerone.

On the other hand, I won the Toblerone in a drawing at work. I never win things. So, that could be the universe saying, "Go ahead. Eat a Toblerone. You've earned it!"

STOP MESSING WITH MY MIND, UNIVERSE! I am feeling very fragile right now. Yes. What? Yes! Because ANTS. ATE. MY FRIGGIN TOBLERONE.

Lisa: Strawberry 100%

From the back of a book I checked in this morning:

EXT. ROOFTOP OF A SCHOOL BUILDING
SUNSET

FADE OUT

Oh, Junpei. We've all been there. May your quest for the perfect strawberry print panties be fruitful.

Lisa: Sorry, Mom.

I thought I'd kick off Handwritten Fridays with a few truly useless but laboriously handwritten items that have (against all reason) survived for THIRTEEN YEARS since their creation.

You see, kids, in the dark days before text messaging, public school students annoyed their teachers by passing long, detailed notes to each other, expounding upon the controversial topics of parental injustice, how close they were to failing Bio, and the heartbreak of unrequited love.

If that student of yesteryear were lucky enough, the object of her unreturned affections might pass her a sweet, encouraging note like this:

(Yes, since you ask, I had a crush on him for five years. Can't you see why?)

Sarah: Things that make me

Sad:
Shoulders of people that have been cropped out of pictures.
Feist's performance in Amsterdam being sold out.
Accidentally dumping 1/4 of a pineapple onto the gravel when I get out of my car at the office.
Annoyed:
The woman in my class who talks over everyone, breathlessly drowning out fellow students and the professor (!) so that she can loudly give her pedestrian interpretation of the text.
The guy in another class who says the most offensive remarks possible in my Children's Literature class, most recently during a discussion of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. To explain would bore you, but I may have uttered "Oh my gosh, STOP TALKING." under my breath. Two classmates heard me. Oops. At least they nodded in agreement and laughed?
Excited:
At long last, Ben Folds is returning to Utah. I will be there. So will Ben Lee. You should come!
Embarrassed:
Eventually someone is going to notice that I spend the majority of one of my classes gazing at the back of a certain young man's head. It's a sickness.
Murderous:
Flo Rida's reign of terror.

Lisa: they put the "bling" in sibling

Some of my innate awesomeness obviously rubbed off on my brothers and sister, because...

David is trying to decide between the architecture programs at Columbia and Virginia Tech (assuming his dance career doesn't work out), and I couldn't be more excited that he and Angie just got engaged.

Sarah (as you know) is on her way to Europe for a study abroad program, and will graduate from the U with a major in Being Completely Awesome next fall.

Jeffrey is serving selflessly in the slums of New Jersey for one more year, and then will return to his school for slightly socially awkward geniuses.

I'm so proud of you guys! I could just sit on you and poke you in the ribs all day.

(Happy Sibling Day, everybody!)

Sarah: Things you might not know and perhaps still wish you didn't.

A few things the internet may not already know about me:
1. I usually misspell "magic" on my first try. It's a small, common, simply-spelled word, and yet I almost always use a "j" on my first try. Embarrassing, I know. I'm getting better.
2. I agonize over social blunders for years after the fact. I was once extremely obnoxious and refused to leave the band room (yes, and geeky. I also had braces that year.) after school when I was in the 7th grade. The 9th grade boy in charge of making everyone leave was understandably annoyed. I think his name was Carson. I've been feeling guilty and stupid about it ever since.
3. I have scoliosis. It's a very minor case and no one but my mom has ever noticed it without having it pointed out to them, but I think about my curved spine several times each day. I think I was one of few girls more freaked out by the back brace in Deenie than by the pink plastic belts described in Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret.

A few conversations this week:
1. Over 27 minutes on the phone, after hours, with a work contact, wherein she related a detailed history of the back pain she has felt since her car accident, the related visits she has made to various doctors and chiropractors, and the suits she intends to file. She also said "boob" five times. I was not ready for this call.
2. Sarah: I just took a dress that Nora spit up on to the dry cleaner. And then realized that the spot I pointed out probably looked like semen. Classy.
Mallory: Ha! You skank!
Sarah: As soon as he wrote 'soiled' on my ticket, I felt so cheap.

Lisa: Do this, don't do that--can't you read the sign?

Quite a prodigious collection of passive agressive notes for one 8'x10' break room, don't you think?

This one reads: "If you make a mess on the table, sink, or in the frig or microwave, Please use these wipes and clean up after yourself immediately. Thank you. [smiling sun]"

I especially like the escalating comment penciled in on the bottom corner here: "I didn't know water made a mess! [signed,] Deeply offended Jean"

These two should be viewed as a set--the sign asking people not to leave coats at the table, and a sweater left at the table. The sweater's owner has been flaunting her disregard for that sign for weeks. Well, days.

Let's round out the set with a sign-up sheet for cleaning (only 7 of our 20 employees took the bait on that one), a "helpful" warning that personal belongings deemed objectionable will be thrown away by an anonymous judge, and a notice of paper towel machine changes (I don't even know).

Sarah: What is sure to be the first of many entries about Europe

Here's a little Brain Dump on a theme of Europe:

1. I'm going on a study abroad program with Marci. She's good looking, and smells nice. The class is a Printmaking class, which I think will be interesting. I'm curious to see if/how my knowledge from Letterpress enhances my experience in the class.
2. I am consumed with stress about money. It's not fun.
3. We're going to Scotland, thanks in part to Lisa and Blake's recommendation (okay, that link doesn't go to a recommendation, per se, but that's the tour they took, and they really enjoyed it).
4. We're going to Rome. And possibly another city or two in Italy. Seeing Italy has been a life goal of mine since I was a little girl (one of only three I had at one point. The other two were to see Phantom of the Opera on stage (I saw it with my mom many years ago) and to see Les Miserables (not yet. Can you tell we listened to the soundtracks to musicals as kids?)).
5. I need the perfect purse/bag for traveling. Big enough to hold my wallet, camera, and a notebook, small enough to be easy to carry, good-looking enough to justify the purchase, and safe enough to not get stolen or pick-pocketed. Any suggestions?
6. Any suggestions of places to go or sights to see will be great. We're going to Edinburgh, London, Amsterdam, Prague, Budapest, Klagenfurt, and Rome. It's possible that we'll spend a day in Venice or Florence, but that might depend on how long our money can last. I need your tips for the best cafes to try, museums to visit, streets to wander.
7. As soon as I return, I have to fill out an application for graduation. I have to find a new place to live. I feel like I'm getting a fresh start. This is going to be a good year, I can tell.

Lisa: thanks for the heads up

This morning, I finished up helping a middle-aged gentleman on one of the public computers, and then walked back to the information desk. The other librarian on duty was helping a customer at the desk.

Librarian: You might want to wash your hands.
Me: O...Kay...
Librarian: (hands me a canister of Clorox wipes)
Customer: He's filthy.
Me: (wiping my hands) What?
Customer: I saw him sneezing into his hand and then licking it. Over. And over.

Sarah: Miniatures

Little notes in my life:

The margin of my notes from class, while we discussed Through the Looking-Glass:

A valentine from my mom. Just like the conversation hearts! She's adorable.

Sarah: Punderful

I just titled an essay on The Rape of the Lock for class.

"Hair Comes the Pride" had me sitting in my chair, giggling, for at least one full minute.

Oh dear.

Lisa: I'm just saying...

To Whom it May Concern:

If you complain to my boss about my appallingly loud voice and even go so far as to suggest that vocal volume should be taken into account during the hiring process, I may be less inclined to help you with your computer problem.

Sarah: Format

Form has been on my mind lately. An excerpt of a quick statement I wrote:

I am interested in the aesthetic quality of literature and text. Studying literature is not only about the content of the materials one reads. It also leads to studying and appreciating form. The audience's experience of a text is not limited to the words. Holding the weight of a book, smelling musty pages of an out of print text, turning the glossy pages of a magazine, letting your eyes be drawn to a well-designed poster: these are all ways that a reader is influenced by design and medium.

Sarah: Letterpress

While looking around my house for some samples of my writing (no particular reason), I realized that I never posted much about the letterpress class that Lisa and I took last summer. As far as the class itself, I would recommend it to anyone. It made me think in a different way and was a blast. Below are some of the works I produced.
Letterpress has a lot of aspects that can't really be captured in an image (especially one taken in poor light with a non-professional camera). A poem of less than 40 words took about an hour to set, letter by letter. The press leaves an impression on your thick, soft paper. The ink cannot be exactly replicated once it has been used up, because you mix the colors by hand on a smooth acrylic slab. Your left arm becomes stronger than your right as you pull the heavy wheel of the press towards you to print each single page. The size and face of your type is determined by many factors, not the least of which is whether you will have enough letters to spell the words you have chosen.
It's a slow, tedious process, but I always loved the result. Anyway, you should try it.

Color balance on these images is terrible. Like I said, bad lighting. This is what I get for blogging at night.
The text of three of my projects is after the jump, if you're curious.

Drowning
The weeds reach up to welcome me as I sink down into the murky depths. The last bubble of air escapes my lips as the currents brush across my goosebumped flesh. What was once a bottomless abyss now ends in a sandy floor.
The pressure is killing me.

Untitled*
We squeezed into an empty space.
The ether spills into the sun, the gases rise
through the cold air, crooked, bending
stars of light.
We sink, purposeless, to sleep.
Dizzy, spinning
Wonderful... round and round
Dizzy. Spinning.

Untitled**
Working tirelessly in his workshop, Frederick was the premiere taxidermist of the east coast. Famed for his realistic representation of indigenous birds, he could often be found working nights and weekends. Though his home was filled with pheasants, crows, and robins, it had one empty place. The table was always set for two, but Frederick ate alone. He continued to wait each night, hoping his wife would return.

*For this project I had to choose words included in a scientific article. In this way, my vocabulary was limited, but the end result could be anything I imagined.
**This project had to be a story inspired by a zinc cut (like a metal stamp) image supplied by the lab. My zinc cut was the bird that you can see in the first image above. If you spot the typo in that image, you get +2 smart points. If you tell me that I'm sort of dumb because I didn't notice this typo until I had printed my project, you get -3 nice-friend points.

Sarah: A Message from Finals Week

Here's a good, underused word for you:
inure: to accustom to accept something undesirable
I am currently inured to my unkempt apartment.

My friends must inure my appearance this week.

Yeesh. Please take a moment to enjoy my headband that I believe I bought in the 7th grade, my PowerPuff Girls t-shirt from the 12th grade, and the makeup that is most obviously not on my face. This is the look of self-imposed exile as I study for my final. On the positive side, my dad painted that painting behind me. Those are rows of crop in a field. The painting has warm happy colors and I love it as the focal point of my living room.

I just noticed that my dry winter hands bled on my laptop keyboard. It's all class and grace around these parts. My beloved computer, pre-carnage:

Ah, G4. No one can display villanelles quite like you.

At least I have my Christmas tree to keep me company.

Most of the ornaments are hand-me-downs from my grandma. The gifts each proudly bear tags crafted by Marta.

Now it's back to the grindstone for me. I'm currently writing an essay about this poem:

Villanelle by William Empson

It is the pain, it is the pain, endures.
Your chemic beauty burned my muscles through.
Poise of my hands reminded me of yours.

What later purge from this deep toxin cures?
What kindness now could the old salve renew?
It is the pain, it is the pain, endures.

The infection slept (custom or change inures)
And when pain's secondary phase was due
Poise of my hands reminded me of yours.

How safe I felt, whom memory assures,
Rich that your grace safely by heart I knew.
It is the pain, it is the pain, endures.

My stare drank deep beauty that still allures
My heart pumps yet the poison draught of you.
Poise of my hands reminded me of yours.

You are still kind whom the same shape immures
Kind and beyond adieu. We miss our cue.
It is the pain, it is the pain, edures.
Poise of my hands reminded me of yours.

Sarah: Hot like Fiya

In honor of my German test today, for which I was awake until 4 am studying, I present a discussion of temperatures from class last week:

Professor: 'I am hot' is 'Es ist mir heiss' or 'It is to me hot.' You wouldn't say 'Ich bin heiss' (literally, I am hot), because... that has sexual connotations.
Student: I said that in a paper once. He pulled me aside. So. Awkward.

Sarah: Intimidating

Selecting 'print' on an Graduation Application for an Undergraduate Degree. I'm excited and relieved that the end is in sight. On the other hand, do I have to be a grown-up now?

Lisa: career day

I love being a librarian, don't get me wrong, but we all have days when we think we might want to try out another profession, right?

Here are a few I think might be fun:

Sarah: Brain Dump, List Edition

Wanting:

cute galoshes. Oh, and don't you think that Lisa's baby needs some too? I'm so glad we agree.

Peach Days, the second most delicious festival in Utah. The first is Raspberry Days in Bear Lake. Mmmmm...

Plotting:

Lisa: I knew I hung on to those hideous socks for a reason...

So, if you live nearby, I have an odd request. I'm trying to collect (as cheaply as possible) costume pieces that 8-year-old boys could use to make themselves a superhero outfit. I bet some of you might have appropriate things lying around, such as...

Lisa: practical knowledge

I was in Provo last week for another children's literature symposium, and here's what I wrote in my notes:

Venison is the least nutritious meat you can eat. It is 11% protein at best, and always wormy. Beaver is the most nutritious meat you can catch in the wild--it's very high in protein, and tastes a lot like beef.

I would trust Gary Paulsen on that.

Lisa: I just don't know how to feel

I just got poked in the stomach repeatedly by a 13-year-old boy.

Him: (POKE.) Are you pregnant?
Me: Ha! Yes.
Him: (POKE. POKE.) Can you help me on the computer?

Sarah: From the Conference Room

Putting together an event for work takes a fair amount of effort.
Putting together that event in heels just makes things a little more interesting.

Lisa: you can have what's left of me

A little bird named Sarah told me that SOME people have been complaining that I never blog anymore. That is because I have forced my usually razor sharp brain to become banal and empty.

There are important things I could be thinking (and blogging) about, but I choose not to. Delivering a baby? Avoid. Breast-feeding, or worse, breast PUMPING? Avoid. Finding a way to reduce my work hours? Figuring out a childcare plan? Changing my entire life to become a parent? Avoid, avoid, avoid. Why? Because these things are simultaneously the most stressful (to me) and most boring (to you) subjects in the universe.

Here are a few things that are left among the cobwebs. Worth blogging about? Maybe I'll let you decide.

Sarah: Don't call me listless.

Wishing:
That my living room was five feet wider
That the spiders would stay away
There were more hours in the day for me and my cruiser.

Wanting:
an Airstream trailer
a Vespa. Still.

Making:
a fabric-covered bulletin board (pictures to follow)
baby gifts
wood cuts for our letterpress class
thumbtacks. I may be selling a set or two soon.

Eating:
field greens
nine-grain bread
Mt. Rainier cherries
Pastries and sandwiches

Wandering:
the Farmer's Market on Saturday mornings
the Arts Festival with the girls on Friday.

Coveting:
Andrea's good taste
Lisa's knobs
wall decals

Liking:
my brothers. I miss them.

Working:
on my company's annual event. It's in three weeks and I'm freaking out a little.
fighting the good fight against apartment squalor.

Sarah: Boy, Is my face red.

Nearing the end of my workday, I took a quick break to use the restroom. While washing my hands, I glanced in the mirror to check the frizz levels of my hair (assessment: Threat Level Yellow) and lip gloss shine factor (assessment: 0 shine remains. Bummer.). Then I noticed a pinkish spot on my cheek. It felt slightly puffy and sensitive to the touch. I decided that it could be nothing other than a flesh-eating bacteria. Obviously I needed a second opinion.
I walk briskly out of the restroom to consult Marci.
"I have a flesh-eating bacteria on my face. See? See??"
I stand on my toes to lean over the front of the reception desk. Marci soothes my paranoia and tells me that she doesn't see anything on my face. "Right here! It's eating my face off. I saw it on America's Next Top Model. Marci, I have a flesh-eating bacteria."
"Sarah," she smiles, "your face is fine."
"I have a bacteria! Look! The spot is right there!"
I twirl around to head back to the bathroom mirror for confirmation.
And then I see something.
A man in a suit sitting in the conference room, waiting to speak with my boss.
"Oh. Hi. I have a flesh-eating bacteria."
He smiles, nervously.
Just then, the president of the company walks past.
"Sarah, stop scaring people away."

"I have a flesh-eating bacteria on my face."

Lisa: one track mind

While I was setting up the auditorium for our "War of the Worlds" No Girls Allowed program, a four-year-old boy wandered in and gasped with delight at the alien party streamers I was draping around the edge of a table. He picked up a stuffed puppet.

Boy: "Look! Two zombies on there!"
Lisa: "I think those are supposed to be astronauts."
B: "Astronauts! And they're in a planet!"
L: "Um, I think that's a space ship."

He picked up another stuffed toy.

B: "This one is a zombie!"
L: "That one's an alien."
B: "..."
L: "Do you know what an alien is?"
B: "Aliens aren't even real! They live in space! They couldn't be on Earth because that would be CRAZY!"
L: "Yeah."
B: "So why are you decorating with all these zombies?"
L: "And astronauts and aliens?"
B: "Yeah!!"
L: "Well, because we're having a program today about aliens and outer space."
B: "AND ZOMBIES????!!!!"

Lisa: Thank you?

I never know what people are going to say to me at the information desk. I think some people don't know what a librarian is, while other people are just strange. I try not to take it personally.

"Gosh, you're so bright--why do you work at the library?"

"So are you all volunteers?"

"Gee, you'd make such a great secretary. Maybe I'll offer you a job!"

"You have a master's degree? Really? Seriously? So...did you always know you wanted to be a librarian?" (No. Actually, I got my undergraduate degree in music.) "What do you play?" (The flute.) "Oh. I...don't play the flute."

"You're the smartest girl in the world. And not only that, you're pretty good lookin'! I can say that because I'm old, so it's not a threat."

"Did you know your thyroid gland is enlarged?"

"Can I ask your advice? Do you think half a stick of dynamite would be enough to blow up this whole library?"

Edited because I just had to add one more from today:
"You always look so nice when I come in here. I prefer brunettes with white shirts and black skirts, and you always look very nice."

Lisa: Growth Industry

Recently, a "friend" suggested that, if I really wanted to start making more money, I could become a crack whore (Thanks, Wikipedia! Think Brittanica has an article on that?). I took this kind bit of advice to heart, and have formed a new life plan (complete with easy-to-follow steps!):

1) Become crack whore. Give sex for drugs, but then sell the drugs instead of taking them myself, thereby earning enough money to...
2) Finance plastic surgery, allowing for...
3) Upgrade to high class "escort," trading sex for money (cutting out that annoying "crack" middleman) and making myself available to...
4) Find a rich but lonely businessman with a heart of gold, a la Pretty Woman and...
5) Get him to fall madly in love with me, which shouldn't be too difficult considering we have so much in common. Of course we would...
6) Get married, in which case I would have so much money and spare time on my hands that I would naturally...
7) Start a foundation to help crack whores like myself get started.

I think this plan has some real potential, don't you? Aren't friends great?

Lisa: a long time ago we used to be friends

I survived my ten-year high school reunion.

Blake was a good sport and came with me to the dinner part on Friday night. Here we are with Melissa (left) and Emily.

Here I am again with Charles, whose endlessly capable wife Mindy planned the whole reunion. In this picture I look about one-fourth as freaked out as I felt about the whole thing. My dress was pretty hot though--Sarah pointed out it was even worn to the premiere of Step Up by Arielle Kebbel, who played Dean's wife on Gilmore Girls.

Saturday morning we had a picnic so that everyone could bring their kids. Below: Jaak, Molly, me, Blake (not MY Blake), and Marianne.

The main thing I learned at the picnic was that all babies hate me. Seriously, I would try to hold them and they would look at me and scream, violently flail away from me, turn into a limp noodle in an attempt to slither down to the ground, or some combination of the three. I think they can sense my complete non-emanation of any kind of mothering vibe. Don't worry, Charles the 4th (below) was much bigger when I tried to hold him, so there was no actual breakage.

Saturday night I felt somewhat redeemed because these kids don't hate me.

They love me. But at least part of that is because I will draw pictures on the table-paper on demand. A tiger? A snake? A giraffe? Abraham Lincoln? You got it.

A tiny baby monkey? There's nothing I'd rather do right now than draw that for you.

In other but not less self-absorbed news, I now own a magenta RAZR phone. It is the awesomest phone of all time AND its camera has a special function just for taking self-portraits. That's right. Maybe I will use all of these...

to make one of those photomosaics where all the tiny pictures (of my face) make up one giant picture (of my face). Maybe then the gods of vanity will be appeased. You can only hope.

Lisa: Boston, Day 3

On Wednesday morning (March 22nd), after running, Janell and I took the bus (a 5-minute ride) to the convention center for the second day of our Early Literacy workshop. We left the workshop a bit early to see Nancy Pearl speak, but when we got there the huge auditorium was already packed. We ended up sitting on the floor along one wall. Unfortunately, the program ended up being mostly publishers introducing some of their new titles, but Nancy did introduce them and she was hilarious. She shared a few things I wanted to pass on:

People clap before a speech out of faith and hope; they clap at the end out of charity.
--Bishop Sheen

She also told a hilarious story about finding herself locked, naked, in a hotel bathroom with a broken door handle. Her first thought was, "I am locked in the bathroom of the Mallory Hotel...and I have NOTHING TO READ." Instead of panicking, she then said to herself, "what would Nancy Drew do?" She got busy with a nail file and soon sprung herself from her prison. Only then did she look back into the bathroom and see the telephone next to the toilet.

The publishers did introduce a few books that I added to my list of books to read:

Lisa: Boston, Day 2

It has taken me awhile to get around to posting about the rest of my trip to Boston, because things have been super crazy at work and at home. But better late than never, right?

On Tuesday morning (March 21st), Janell and I decided to walk from our hotel in Cambridge across the Harvard bridge to the convention center in Boston proper. The walk wasn't long, but it was freezing cold. The good news is that when we were crossing the bridge we got to see the MIT women's crew team out practicing...

...as well as some of the Smoot markings.

Once across the bridge, we stopped at a convenience store for some hot tea, string cheese, and a blueberry muffin (Yes, I actually ate a muffin. And it was DELICIOUS.). Almost every person we saw walking around Boston was carrying a travel mug or take-out cup of a hot beverage, and as soon as I got my own it was obvious why. The cup serves as the best hand-warmer money can buy, and then when you are waiting for the bus you can take a few sips and warm your belly, too. Just make sure you have a cup with a lid that fastens securely, or you will slosh scalding tea all over your hand on the bus, like I did a few days later.

Janell and I were in a conference on Early Literacy all morning, but on lunch we walked past Copley Square...

...to the Boston Public Garden, hoping to see the Make Way For Ducklings statue.

After seeing the ducklings (the rest of the park was pretty bare and muddy), we had lunch at Au Bon Pain, which we don't have in Utah but that was everywhere in Boston. After lunch, we headed back to the Hynes Center for more conferences. At the end of the day, we walked next door to the biggest, most convoluted mall ever (well, biggest might be an exaggeration) and ate at the Cheesecake Factory. Not really an example of local cuisine, I know, but it was tasty and they do have sugar-free cheesecake.

After dinner, we stopped at Trader Joe's (another chain that hasn't hit Utah yet), which was AWESOME. I got Blake some of the fruit slice candies he loves (Which I found out are called Boston Fruit Slices and I ended up seeing all over Boston. Curse you, Utah, and your lack of fruit slice candy!) and these low-carb tortilla chips made of soy and flax seed, which were actually really tasty. Too bad they don't sell them online!

We took the bus back to the hotel and then stopped at the Star Market, which was ATTACHED TO OUR HOTEL, for breakfast groceries and more snacks. The only bummer part of the day was that I completely killed my feet by walking everywhere in stiletto boots.

Yesterday
Tomorrow

Lisa: Boston, Day 1

This week I am in Boston for the Public Library Association national conference. Here's my first daily report!

Security was terrible at the Salt Lake City airport, which meant that I barely made my plane, and that my luggage did not. Nevertheless, I got to the gate in time and everything was fine. Janell (another children's librarian from Whitmore) and I watched Pride and Prejudice on my laptop on the plane, but the battery crapped out with ten minutes still to go (wah!). We got to Boston around 4:30 pm, and successfully found the hotel via bus and subway.

We stayed at the Hotel at MIT, which was AWESOME. I couldn't resist taking a few pictures...

Here's sort of a dark close-up on the throw blanket:

A wall sconce out in the hallway that resembles a microchip:

The lounge downstairs:

We ate a tasty dinner at the Asgrave, a sort of Irish pub right next to the hotel, and then walked down to Harvard Square. Most of the shops were closed, but we were able to go into the Harvard Bookstore, the Harvard Coop, and Urban Outfitters. We took the subway back to the hotel to get out of the cold and got into bed. My suitcase got delivered at about 1:30 am, alleviating my fear that I'd have to go to workshops the next day with no makeup, wearing the dirty clothes I wore on the plane.

To be continued!

Sarah: Reading, Writing, Etc.

This was an exciting weekend. Why? Because I read some cool publications and got a new sort-of job. As a journalist! I know. It's a little exciting. I've been thinking a lot about my experiences, and would like to sort of mash out those thoughts here. Because guess what? I can.
I think the most straightforward way to explain myself is to compose a list of the experiences or parts of my life that have brought me to my current line of thinking.

(I wrap things up after the jump)

People are often asking me what I plan to do with my English degree, provided, of course, that I eventually graduate. I don't usually have a good answer. The more I immerse myself in journalism, however, the more excited I get. Finding articles for a quality magazine would be like becoming Ira Glass of This American Life. You have to find something brief that still carries a strong message, emotion, or mental image. It is undoubtably a challenge, but seems so rewarding. Plus, think of all the wonderful personal narratives you'd pass on the way.

I don't have much more to say on this matter for now, except that I'm excited to be exploring my options, and to be filling my brain with more than celebrity gossip (although that is really more in my heart... okay, just kidding).

Sarah: Man was not meant for Internet cafes alone.

I don't understand why my wireless internet has been gone for three days. But I know that it is sucking my life away.

Also, guy that sits in front of me in class: A quasi-mohawk that hasn't been washed for weeks on a dandruff-prone head is less emo-hot and more greasy-gross. I'm just saying.

Sarah: Spring

Back to school,
Back to school,
To prove to Daddy that I'm not a fooooool.

Sarah: Etsy

I didn't like the idea of filling up our site with items that I've made, trying to sell stuff to my own friends and family. After looking around the internet for craft fairs and other selling options, I've almost decided upon selling items on Etsy, but I'm going to first design a banner and hopefully get some feedback about their site from you guys. Thanks for your support, and for your nice comments. Let me know before Jan. 10 if you're interested in any specific items that I've posted here, and I'll make sure not to sell them to anyone else.

Lisa: Dino-mite

I always intend to post cute or fun stuff I do for the library, so that I can remember it, but then I usually forget. (See how that works? It's a vicious cycle.) This time I remembered to take pictures, so you lucky people get to hear about my dinosaur storytime!

Here's the chair where I sit when I read the stories, and you can see the books and stuff that I have set out there. This time we read Find-A-Saurus,