November 18, 2004

Lisa: It's important to take a stand on this sort of thing.

Why is Tinkerbell in the Disney Princesses line-up? Why not fellow Peter Pan character Indian PRINCESS Tiger Lily? Is she not needed because the token Native American princess role is already filled by the more politically correct (but also historically inaccurate) Pocahontas?

Here's my take on the official princesses:

The Good:

  • Best Eyebrows - Jasmine
  • Best Breasts - Ariel
  • Best Hair - Pocahontas
  • Most Ass-Kicking - Mulan
  • Best Love Interest - Aurora
  • Cutest Animal Sidekicks - Cinderella
  • Smartest - Belle
  • Sweetest - Snow White
  • Sauciest - Tinkerbell (if she must be included)

    The Bad:

  • Most Annoying Singing Voice - Snow White
  • Most Annoying Speaking Voice - Jasmine
  • Most Easily Mind-Controlled - Aurora
  • Dumbest - Ariel
  • Bitchiest - Tinkerbell
  • Biggest Cry Baby - Cinderella
  • Ugliest (human) Love Interest - Belle
  • Worst Animal Sidekick - Mulan
  • Biggest Agenda - Pocahontas

    Also, I always hated Peter Pan. What a womanizer--stringing along Tinkerbell, Tiger Lily, AND Wendy like that.

    Posted by lisa at November 18, 2004 08:51 PM
    • Comments

    My nickname back in High School was Tinkerbell....interesting that she falls under your bitchiest category. I wonder if thats why I had the name...Dude why was Tink so devoted to Peter anyways? He's not THAT great!

    Posted by: Jessie on November 19, 2004 05:10 PM

    I think you meant under the bad that Pocahontas was the biggest tool.

    Posted by: blake on November 20, 2004 12:07 AM

    So, why Tinkerbell in leiu of Maid Marion? I mean, she may not be ACTUAL royalty or hypermammiferous, but she is aristocracy and socializes in regal circles. Also, Tinkerbell, although filling the fairy niche is just one more white girl in the Princess lineup. If you ask me, the animals are being grossly underrepresented. Besides, Robin Hood was always Lisa's favorite Disney movie. She always made us watch it, even though I hated the love montage.

    Posted by: Sarah on November 20, 2004 12:01 PM

    Also, was it just me, or was the Beast WAY hotter than Prince Saucer-Lips?

    Posted by: Sarah on November 20, 2004 12:03 PM

    It seems like only yeeeeeeesterday....you were just a child at play....

    Just kidding. Maid Marion isn't a bad idea. And what about Nala from The Lion King? I guess there are fewer franchising opportunities for characters without clothing. I would totally buy that hat thing Maid Marion wears with the structured ear-shaped part and the veil. Anyway, I agree that the Beast was way hotter in beast form. I can't remember--does he even have a name?

    Posted by: lisa on November 20, 2004 01:29 PM

    HIS NAME IS PRINCE SAUCER LIPS! We've always called him that in our family and he will continue to hold that name. To seriously answer your question, no, he doesn't.

    Posted by: Sarah on November 21, 2004 01:40 PM
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