May 08, 2007

Lisa: what to expect when you're expecting a vampire baby

Blake and I watched two episodes of Heroes last night, which brought up some very important issues that had to be resolved before we could go to sleep.

1. If you could have any mutant power, what power would you choose?
2. Are Magneto's powers stupid?
3. If the baby could have any mutant power, what would you want it to be?
4. If the baby could be any horror-movie creature, what would you want it to be?

These questions were tricky to come to a consensus on, particularly because Blake answered in this highly irritating fashion:

1. Magneto's powers.
2. No. They are AWESOME.
3. The power to make sound waves into light. (I was able to bargain him into controlling the weather.)
4. A vampire.

Posted by lisa at May 08, 2007 03:46 PM

oh i love you guys. you are so my kind of people. i wish i could clone you both and marry you. is that weird? ok...yes...i know its weird. righto. anyways...wouldn't you kind of want your baby to come out as the zombie baby in the new Dawn of the Dead movie? Its all green and gooey and zombieish. And it screeches. And its rad.

Posted by: Andrea on May 8, 2007 03:54 PM

But then I'd have to shoot their baby. And killing babies makes me so tired.
So I'm glad you guys could agree on the vampire baby thing, because you got SO huffy the other day when I suggested it. Even though we all know that vampires are the cool/sexy kids of Horror Movie High.

Posted by: sarah on May 8, 2007 03:58 PM

I don't comment often...but, oh dear. That is all.

Posted by: Meredith on May 8, 2007 04:08 PM

Well if I could answer those questions, which I'm assuming you want everyone to talk a stab at them, even though the previous posters did not.

1)I don't know what a mutant is, but definitely the ability to bowl perfect 300 games all the time. You could probably make a lot of money.
2)I think having magnetic powers are better than having the power to quit smoking.
3)I think the baby should have Mary Poppins powers. Then she'll keep her room clean. And possible kill her friends until she has gotten used to her powers. I guess that could be potentially lawsuitable. But are mutant powers really admissable in court?
4)one of those Killer Klowns from outer Space(That K on Klowns makes me want to vomit the letter C)

Posted by: Jeremy on May 8, 2007 04:13 PM

I love Heroes. and Xmen. And Vampires. And you guys.

Wait were going to see 28 week in the theatre right? and transformers? Why haven't we seen spiderman yet?

Posted by: Mallory on May 8, 2007 04:18 PM

Actually, Sarah, I was going for a Sally/Frankenstein's Monster kind of baby. If I can't have the water-fetching girl from Jungle Book.

Posted by: lisa on May 8, 2007 06:21 PM

Oh yeah. And then she can say "Mama" in a deep, gravely voice. Because she is actually a pieced together from various adult male body parts. The water-fetching girl from Jungle Book would be a good baby for you to have, but she isn't a horror-movie creature.

Posted by: sarah on May 9, 2007 09:45 AM

ADULT MALE PARTS??? You are dead to me.

Father's hunting in the forest
Mother's cooking in the home
I must go and fetch the water

Posted by: lisa on May 9, 2007 10:29 AM

1. The powers of Peter Petrelli: amazing hair and the powers of anyone I come in contact with.
2. Stupid? No. The Best? Not that either.
3. How about the power to move you? (that was for Mallory) or perhaps the powers of Batman. That is: the power of endless wealth so that you can BUY superpowers. And prezzies for Auntie Sarah.
4. Vampire. With a soul, obviously.

Posted by: sarah on May 9, 2007 11:22 AM

Lisa, you must be planning on bottle-feeding her baby. Because a vampire baby? Ouch.

1. Telekinesis. I'd wait until half-way through the NBA season and bet a bucket-load of money that the worst team would win the championship. Then I'd go to every game and make their shots go in, and their opponents, shots miss.
2. No, but his outfit is.
3. Teleportation. To save the trouble/pain of child birth for Lisa. And also to get into my car when I've locked my keys inside.
4. Shaun, from Shaun of the Dead. Because he was hilariously oblivious and altogether innovative in surviving that zombie love-fest. And I don't care what you think -- a person is a creature. If you wanted me to pick a baddie, you should have been more specific. So there.

Posted by: Dave on May 9, 2007 01:26 PM

So your baby (as a vampire baby) would be BLADE. You are having a wesley snipes baby. That is SOO cool.

Posted by: Young Jeffrey on May 9, 2007 01:43 PM

Hee. I love that idea, Jeff. But she'd have some esplaining to do to Blake...

Posted by: sarah on May 9, 2007 03:57 PM

Theoretically if I had a vampire baby with Angel (assuming I'm not a vampire) it would indeed be a daywalker, a la Blade.

Posted by: lisa on May 9, 2007 04:40 PM

Isn't Angel on Lisa's list. So, like, guiltfree?

Posted by: Young Jeffrey on May 10, 2007 02:07 PM

I'm not sure the list allows for impregnation.

Posted by: lisa on May 10, 2007 02:23 PM

Come on. Blake would love a little Wesley Snipes

Posted by: Young Jeffrey on May 11, 2007 12:09 PM

Come on. Blake would love a little Wesley Snipes

Posted by: Young Jeffrey on May 11, 2007 12:09 PM
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