August 20, 2007

Sarah: Granny Panties

I drove with my grandma for a couple hours yesterday and needed to discuss. If you say something gross about my grandma in the comments, I will cut you.

S: OH i just remembered. The other grandma-crazy thing: she discussed lingerie with me. AWKWARD.
M: lol. You should not discuss lingerie with grandparents. That's just wrong.
S: I know. She read a billboard and was all "So what do YOU think about Dirty Jo Punsters??" and I said "Um. I don't even know what I would do with anything that I could buy there." and she says "IT SURE WOULD LOOK SILLY OVER GARMENTS!" and then I just laughed and died a little bit inside.
M: You should have said "Oh Grandma when you are wearing that stuff you take your garments off, silly."
S: WELL. She said something about a teddy she owns and about how it looked silly over garments.
M: WHOA. TMI, Grandma, TMI.
S: and I said "I think you can take off your garments for those occasions." and she says "But then you're naked and you don't NEED any silly lingerie." and um. That was the moment when I knew too much about my grandma's sex life.
M: Lol. Seriously. You totally had a bonding moment with your grandma.
S: Lol. I didn't bring up boyfriend panties and cheating panties. Perhaps I should have. She might have some insight.
M: Lol.

Posted by sarah at August 20, 2007 10:05 AM

I would like to thank you for correcting all my spelling and grammer errors from the orginal conversation. That way I dont look like a fool.

Posted by: Marci on August 20, 2007 11:26 AM

You'll have no problems in bed. Not with the new ACME Garment bustier. Guaranteed to cover your garments in a classy style with a touch of whorish splendor. Oh. I may have crossed a line. Sorry Sarah.

Posted by: Jeremy on August 20, 2007 11:29 AM

Ha. You didn't mention my Grandma, so you're safe. Oh and Marci, shh! I fixed mine too!

Posted by: sarah on August 20, 2007 11:30 AM

She actually...wore a teddy...over garments?

Posted by: lisa on August 20, 2007 12:56 PM

This is totally strange to me. How could your grandma even be aware of lingerie? I'm CERTAIN that the concept of sex-as-fun was discovered by my generation. Preceding generations only used sex for procreation. And my parents, in particular, never had sex. I simply sprang into existence one day. Like Jesus.

Oh, and my kids (if I ever have any), will never be curious about sex or aroused in any way. They'll get married for companionship and, like their grandparents, use sex only for procreation. So there will be no need for lingerie. Or awkward discussions. So all the information I'll ever have to tell them is "don't do it until you're married." I'm 100 percent positive this will fully protect them from unwanted pregnancy and STDs.

These are the truisms on which my world is founded. Don't mess with my truisms.

Posted by: Dave on August 20, 2007 01:58 PM


Posted by: nicole on August 22, 2007 08:49 PM
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